Why doesn’t Feminism and Family get along??

In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Gracious.

Feminism has a chronological history. Its movements and ideologies are all in the name of equal rights to all women. However feminist all over the world has different causes or goals depending on their culture, beliefs and the problems that they think which occur to them, like the USA or the European countries. But these movements root back to France.

A French noblewoman started a salon in 1619, smainly for the upper class well educated women at that time where women’s role and value were wrapped up as querelle des femmes or “question of the women”. Also the Revolutionary war[1] in 1774 and French Revolution[2] in 1789 is said to be a contribution to the freedom of women, by appointing more women politically and establishment of equality as a human right. Eventually, in 1792, Mary Wollstonecraft[3] in her book The “Vindication of the Rights of Women”, argued about the education of women and being independent. This could be regarded as the starting of modern feminism. Feminism has main four waves, where it grew bigger each time. The 1st wave was known as the suffrages. In the late 90s, where in the English world, women started demanding for equal educational rights, better working conditions and diminution of double standard gender inequality, especially with more emphasis on the suffrage of the women. The second wave was the period from early 1960’s to late 1980’s where political and cultural inequality was given more importance. It also made “women’s liberation” a key definition during the time. Also lesbianism feminism appeared during this period. Consequently, the third wave started in the early 1990’s to recognize what women of young age couldn’t win over in the second wave. Consequently, the fourth wave is a recent development in feminism which is identified as being started in 2008 till present.

Today there are innumerable women working for women’s rights. Their argument is that they want a better life for women, by providing them with equal educational opportunities, more liberation and freedom. But sadly, this “once a noble cause” has brought huge negative impacts on the western world and the others too. Specifically to the concept of marriage.

When we look in to the phases of feminism growing wave by wave, we see the same route “Satan took Adam to the forbidden tree”. It all went step by step. First it’s the basic human rights like voting. And right to attain education. This solely seems very attractive to the mind. After all, a being created with same intellects as man, deserves to be well educated, with rights to make decisions. And then wave after wave came with unimaginable changes in the minds of the “queens” till the idealization of Betty Friedan[4] has taken its place completely, making women claim that they no longer belong to the households as wives and mothers.

Women were made to feel that the real unhappiness and desperation in them being wives and mothers were due to “not being able to pursue dreams LIKE a man”. And they were literally “force-fed” the idea of “fulfillment of dreams” through a career outside home. Women in the 60’s were considered oppressed and “small-minded” if they preferred to stay at home. Instead now a stay at home mom will be called uneducated and incompetent.

Friedan writes in her book (the feminine mystique)“[V] acuuming the living room floor—with or without makeup—is not work that takes enough thought or energy to challenge any woman’s full capacity. Down through the ages man has known that he was set apart from other animals by his mind’s power to have an idea, a vision, and shape the future to it… [W]hen he discovers and creates and shapes a future different from his past, he is a man, a being”. This ideology makes women think that a mother who does all household chores is not even a person.

No wonder why 16 year olds in the west decide themselves that they would prefer never to become a mother by medical procedures. Again, the feminism tucks in here saying it is a right to any women either to abort her or their child, or even not to use the uterus at all. According to huffington.com teens prefer never to become a mom saying “I don’t envision having time to properly care for a child while also focusing on my career. There’s always a trade-off.” Or “I have too many plans that children just don’t fit into.” Moreover thetalko.com says “being a housewife just don’t fit in to the program”.

Let alone becoming a mother, women now do not want to get married even. This too is to focus more on their “career” with the belief that marriage is a huge time commitment. And possibly no career-oriented women have any time for spouse after enjoying her free time and a fuller bank account.

The figures and statistics show that the numbers of people getting married are lesser. The economist.com states that the marriage rate in England and Wales is 21 per 1000 single women. See the effect feminism has brought to marriage? It is no longer considered essential. Also the one of the “wow-effects” of “women-liberating-feminism” is that 48% of Welsh and English babies are born out of wedlock compared to the little 8% in 1970’s. Pat Robertson, a Christian broadcaster, defines feminism as a socialist anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.

Moreover, feminism has broken families. It has become only me matters thing now. The working motherhood brings home a “fatigued mamma” with a “tired dada”. Leading marriages to crumble. Now mothers are absentees to their family. This literally means a child grows up alone, without the love of a parent, nurturing and emotional well-being. Eventually they grow up with emotional, physical and mental “difficulties”. Without a shed of doubt, the western community suffers from a lot of social problems as a result. Some 2.1 million marriages and 943 thousand divorces took place in the EU-28 in 2013, according to the most recent data available for all EU Member States (Eurostat).

Finally to be free from the logic of “women can have-it-all” a Muslim must be aware of all the tricks of the modern feminists. I advise specifically the Muslims sisters to go back to the history and inquire before falling pray in to the worldly lies of feminism where you can see the vicious objectives of it. And one should make sure that we stick on to the correct aqeedah of Islam. We must learn what is the role and status of the women in the religion. And how much women actually matter to the homes and families. So that we can value ourselves and our modesty. Be happy being ourselves without displeasing our Lord.

May Allah protect us all.


Cristen Conger (2018 January 4) How feminism works retrieved from https://people.howstuffworks.com/feminism1.htm

Dennis Leap (2018 January 3) How feminism harms families retrieved from https://www.thetrumpet.com/2384-how-feminism-harms-families

Elinor Burkett, Laura Brunell (2017 December 28) Feminism sociology retrieved from https://www.britannica.com/topic/feminism#ref216007

Bureau of Labor Statistics, U.S. Department of Labor, The Economics Daily, Women in the labor force, 1970–2009 retrieved from https://www.bls.gov/opub/ted/2011/ted_20110105.htm

Hetty Tulis (2015 December 16) 15 reasons why women aren’t getting married retrieved from https://www.thetalko.com/15-reasons-why-more-women-are-not-getting-married/

 Rebecca Adams, Hilary Fung, Alissa Scheller and Shane Shifflett (2015 July 1)  270 reasons women choose not to have children retrieved from http://data.huffingtonpost.com/2015/07/choosing-childfree

Marriage in the West (2017 November 23) retrieved from https://www.economist.com/news/special-report/21731493-wealthy-countries-marriage-no-longer-rite-passage-sign-having

Marriage and divorce statistics (2017 June) retrieved from http://ec.europa.eu/eurostat/statistics-explained/index.php/Marriage_and_divorce_statistics



[1] The French Revolutionary Wars were a series of sweeping military conflicts, lasting from 1792 until 1802, resulting from the French Revolution

[2] The French Revolution was a revolution in France from 1789 to 1799. It led to the end of the monarchy, and to many wars. King Louis XVI was executed in 1793. The revolution ended when Napoleon Bonaparte took power in November 1799.

[3] Mary Wollstonecraft was an English writer, philosopher, and advocate of women’s rights. During her brief career, she wrote novels, treatises, a travel narrative, a history of the French Revolution, a conduct book, and a children’s book.

[4] Betty Friedan (February 4, 1921 – February 4, 2006) was an American writer, activist and feminist. Her 1963 book The Feminine Mystique is often credited with sparking the second wave of American feminism in the 20th century. In 1966, Friedan co-founded and was elected the first president of the National Organization for Women (NOW), which aimed to bring women “into the mainstream of American society now [in] fully equal partnership with men.”

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